Not Dread-ful at all...

ok, strangely this is a really difficult thing to write about. It's not been a simple decision, and yet it has.
I didn't wake up one morning and say to myself, "Oh, I think I'll go and get my hair put into dreadlocks today."
It was never a case of "It's just a hairstyle to me, there is no deep meaning attached to it."

See, my hair and I have a very long and intense relationship. As someone who suffered from very severe low self esteem issues for much of my life, it was always the one thing about me (physically) that I could always count on getting a compliment on. Even those who teased and tormented me in high school would always admit that my hair was pretty. Boys who otherwise ignorerd me, ridiculed me, or treated me as "one of the boys" would occasionally compliment me on my hair. So as you can see, it really became like a security blanket for me.

If I ever changed my hair, would that make people stop liking me? Would I ever recieve a compliment again? What would people think of me if I did something radical, that I've always wanted to do? What if that outward-expression of my inner self was rejected by those around me?

What if, what if, what if.

It's exhausting living that way.

Anyway, I won't go into the details, as those closest to me already know the important ones. Needless to say, I have thankfully come to a place of freedom from the what-if's - no one is ever totally free from them, but when you recognise their existence you can destroy them much easier when they do crop up. I've come to the realisation that as a precious, created daughter of God, the only opinion that matters to me should be His, and to strive to please everyone else is not only pointless, but EXHAUSTING. Did I mention how much it tired me out? Man.

So hey - I made the appointment, went in - and am so very happy with the results. I feel like this is part of the REAL me, the creative, wonderful, slightly wacky, fun me that was just beggin' to get outandshow the world who she really is!


It feels like being at home.

limitations

I'm learning all about those on this journey of mamahood. Not only do I no longer have the freedom to sit on my rear end all day on the computer (but was that really freedom?) or create whenever I want (I treasure my creative times even more now) or even sleep when I want (the only thing worse than insomnia, is insomnia with everyone else!).

Technology has its limitations too. Sadly when I was away on holidays recently I discovered I can't actually use my new fangled iPad to blog on (Hey Blogger, or someone else handy with the app writin', can you please develop an app for me to blog on the fly? Pretty please?)

I took the weekend before I left as a last opportunity to create madly for a few weeks, and I'm glad I did. It was such a rush to churn out a ton of pretties, and I'm all set to do an Etsy update in a day or so. Been finishing up an order for a lovely friend of mine first, and just trying to get back into the domestic swing of things after a couple of weeks away from home.
"Smile for Mama, Ewan!"
"Okay Mama!" *bends sideways*

This kid cracks me up.

And do you know the best discovery of the last month ( possibly of my life?)

There really are no limitations.

in the works

mummy-made jammies! He looks almost as proud of them as I was. No, I didn't make the shirt from scratch - I confess the temptation of a $3 shirt is a bit too much for me, when I think of the time it takes just for me to rethread my overlocker to topstitch! (note - AGES AND AGES.) Anyway, these were made in protest of the I-can't-find-winter-pyjamas-locally-that-aren't-licensed.... debacle. Thing. And hey! He begged to wear them tonight, so they must be ok. And yes, he requested the hearts.


A treehouse for Mr and Mrs Straight Man (because they are. Very straight.), Mummy and Daddy Mushroom, and all their various visitors. Pardon the crooked rung. Today Ewan decided thry all needed somewhere to sleep, so mama sat down and made a bunch of slightly crooked "pillows". Good thing the ones using them won't notice they were done in a rush!
(Trees, and Mr and Mrs S.M are from www.winterwoodtoys.com.au )

and what has me most excited, a new idea to play with the wonderful wooden beads from www.chunkytimbers.com.au . This is a guy who lives around the corner from me, and I just can't seem to stop wanting to come up with new things to do with the gorgeous beads he makes!! So this week I discovered I can carve them - oh joy, and a new realm of possibility! A little messy yet, but my hand will get steadier with time. I was going to give away the above bead... but I find myself wearing it this evening. Perhaps I'll make another.

where I've been this month...

... has nothing to do with these photos. But none of them are imported onto this computer yet! So watch this space.

enough dodging

ok ok, enough of the all-photo-no-talky posts. Not that I have a great deal to talk about, I kind of prefer looking at photos myself. Let's see if I can find the balance!

been doing a little bit of sewing lately - my own 30-year-old third hand overlocker seems to be on the blink, and I had a kind friend loan me hers for a week. Quite proud of this so far - my own pattern and design. It's not quite finished, when it is I'll get someone cuter than me to model it for you!


I've truly given up on achieving the "perfect" post - I don't think it exists, and certainly writing about nothing while waiting for it to sneak up on me will not work. So, in this case quantity is better than, well, nothing!

...the woman is bending over her worktable, muttering quietly to herself. Her hands are busy with what, you cannot see. The sun shines through the open window above the table, striking the long braid down her back, throwing back golden red glints. She doesn't seem to notice anything outside that which holds her attention. A bee flies in through the window and wanders lazily through the warm air around her head. Raising a hand absently, she brushes the air beside her ear...

"Suscitatio aquilo, pulsus notos"

she murmurs as she works
The warm summers afternoon goes unnoticed, even as she straightens her back and seems to stare out the window, the honeyed sun bathing her face with warm colour. Her blue eyes are looking beyond what lies directly in front of them, lips pursed in thought. Her hands still from their work, and one rests on the table as the other reaches out to seemingly twine the sunbeams around her fingertips.
The herb-scented breeze teases her nose, and seems to bring her back to this world, her eyes fully open and gaze outside to the forested hillside, their cloudless blue reflecting the sky. The bee, finding no flowers from which to sup, ambles back towards freedom - the garden where the brightly bejeweled flora offer up their faces to kiss the sun, a golden promise of sweetness...

everyone else is sleeping

... except me. So, instead of sulking about it (tempting~!) I thought I'd get around to posting something that I've actually created recently. I'm having an extended love affair with bamboo fabrics these days, and after the relative success of my winter bamboo dress (see... oh, I think August last year?) I really wanted to make one for summer that I could breastfeed in. So I hopped on over to http://www.bamboofabricstore.com.au/ and nabbed some bamboo/spandex jersey, and some 100% bamboo jersey. After tossing it all in the machine with a couple of packets of Rit "Sky Blue", I ended up with this colour:

(wee tree not included) So excited was I, that I immediately went and grabbed a t-shirt with a useful neckline, and taking scissors to fabric, and with my newly donated overlocker (SO EXCITED. OH MY GOODNESS. THANK YOU SHARON! SORRY ABOUT THE CAPITALS) I put this together in an afternoon!

Don't look too closely at it, you may be shocked at some of the corners I've cut. But I don't care! It's yet another relative success with no pattern to reference, and thanks to the overlocker it was a pleasure to sew! The little trees were added later with my very under-used silkscreen, and due to a happy accident, I left the edges uneven. I mean, they do match each other... uhm, well that is to say.... ah never mind. It seems to work. So now I'm psyched to make an ankle length version with long bell sleeves for winter. I'm thinking a warm colour, maybe rusty orange, or a rich red? What do you think? There are only certain shades a strawberry blonde can get away with.

And to finish, here's a photo of my wee poser, on the beach on wednesday. Yes, we're visiting the Gold Coast again to see all the family and friends. Loving it, but I wish I was having more SLEEP!

I love you so much, baby boy.

little folk and... little folk

As those of you who are mums know well, these little people tend to take up a lot of your time. Not that it's not given joyfully - little Ewan is the sweetest baby you could wish for. he's so aware and alert, and the smiles he gives us stretch from ear to ear.

The other night when I was up nursing, in that semi half-awake dream state, I finally came up with something to make with these little wooden people I bought a while ago. I've been struggling to come up with something original, so hopefully it is!

The mushroom cap is made from sculpey, and it's painted with acrylic paints, sealed with a matte varnish. I made him in stages inbetween feeds yesterday, and finished him off today. I'm thinking of either selling these little guys at my etsy store (which is sadly neglected at the moment) and/or at the local markets. What do you think?

To all those who have found my blog recently - hi! I'll come visit all of yours (if I can) again real soon. And I'll try to reply to comments left in the actual comments. I wish Blogger had a better way, but that seems to be it.

40 + 4

Now into the second half of my due "month", the "official" date was friday just gone, but we all know what babies think of due dates. :) Been out getting the garden sorted, Tim's finally helping out with getting the reticulation done - yay! That'll make it much easier for me to take care of the vege patch this summer. Much more waterwise as well.

Saw a vaguely similar bib somewhere in the wastes of the internet, didn't want to pay the $25 for it, so thought I'd try making something close myself. Two layers of flannel, bias binding etc (maybe next time I'll use a thinner one) and beads which I'm sure are a horrendous choking hazard.

Bring on baby!

baby, carry me home

I think I must have one of at least every kind of baby carrier now. I was inspired to finally try making a mei tai style carrier recently, which also gave me an excuse to use a little of my precious stash of Lecien's "My Folklore" fabric. I must remember that if I keep a fabric forever and don't use it because it's too "special", I'll defeat the whole purpose of having the fabric!

The pattern I used (or eyeballed) was the simple and useful http://www.sleepingbaby.net/jan/Baby/asian.html I don't know if it's obvious from the top photo, but I prefer the curved design to the straight. Luckily I have heaps of polarfleece scraps left over from making winter slings, so it was easy to find some to pad the straps out with. Very comfy from what I can tell, now I just need to borrow someone's baby to test it - or wait a couple weeks and use my own!

argh!

My goodness... what a hellish time I had making this wee thingy. Found the pattern over at http://www.allpeoplequilt.com/ and thought it looked niiice and easy. Once I got about half way through and started turning things inside out and sewing what seemed impossible, pointless seams, I gave up, ripped them all out, and made it how I thought it should be made. Much easier! Anyone else ever tried the Grab Bag tutorial? Any help??

I love this fabric to bits, which is why I was determined to not let it go to waste. It's Lecien's My Folklore "Forest".... sooo adorable! I'm keeping every scrap leftover to re-use. As I order a bunch of fabric online nowadays, usually from Etsy, it costs me a fair bit of postage to Aus, so I tend to hoard it pretty frugally. It took me a while to get up the courage to cut into this one!

Used a few leftover bits to make a wee baggie for my new bible. Didn't bother lining it, it was a cute and satisfying 15 minute project after the frustrating grab bag!

My boss's wife loaned me an overlocker! (ka-loo, ka-lay!) So i pulled out a piece of soy-cotton jersey I've had laying around for a while, and knocked out this top. It's a midriff top to wear over short sleeves, or just layering in general. It was dead easy! I used a favourite shirt of mine to create a template for the body, and faked the rest. So nice when things turn out the way they looked in my head. Looks a little wrinkled cos I've already been wearing it for a couple days! This piece of fabric was another one I was hoarding and couldn't figure out what to do with. If I had lotsa cash, I would spend a bunch of it at http://www.fabricantart.com/ and buy up all their beautiful stretch jerseys (bamboo and soy!).

dyeing - and loving it!

Ok, my quest for more "interesting" baby clothes continues. After once again walking into the regular shops and sighing in disgust over the wall of blue-or-pink that is almost all that's available to me for this little Mouse, I thought I'd try my hand at dyeing. Insipred by Amy over at Angry Chicken http://angrychicken.typepad.com/ I thought to myself, surely it can't be that hard...

And it wasn't! I'm really happy with the results actually. The green I picked came out even better than I'd hoped it would. The only problems I had were with the lino printing. I've been carving little printing blocks out of lino for weeks now, and every time I have tried them out using regular ink, they've worked really well. I'm unsure if it's the fabric paint, or just the roller I'm using to apply the paint (which is a sponge, rather than the proper, solid roller), but they all came out really faint. This time I did go over them with a brush, just cos I didn't want to waste my beautiful green onesies, but next time.... I think a trip down to the art shop and a discussion with Dannii might be in order! I haven't block printed since I was in high school, so I'm trying to remember all the ins and outs. Tips, anyone?

finally

I've been saying I'd make my friend's little girl a kimono using this ( http://habitual.wordpress.com/ ) tutorial, and finally got around to it this morning. I had just enough dark red fleece left over to make not one, but two! I figured even if I don't know the gender of this little Mouse, red is still a pretty good colour to go with.

I love mushrooms! Appliqued a little felt one to the front, might go back and add more detail later. For now I just want them to be finished!

boxing helena!

My friend Shaun always used to call me that. I never figured out why, but it always made me laugh. It's coming up to his birthday which is why I'm thinking of him, I guess - he would have been thirty two this year.

I still miss you, Shaun. And when I see you afterwards, you can bet that's the first question I'm gonna ask.

Anyway, totally not how I intended to start this post - as I've been sewing this morning! And I've decided to venture into the wonderful world of tutorials! After finding this adorable little tutorial over at applehead http://applehead.typepad.com/applehead/2006/05/hey_presto_a_li.html , I lay awake at night (as I often do) wondering how I could apply this on a slightly larger scale. See, I've been wanting to buy boxes to fill the shelves in the baby's room, and after seeing this I began to think, maybe I could make my own...

(A side note - "Maybe I could make my own" is a phrase that my mum will be very happy to hear me using, as it's a principle she's tried hard to instill in me over the years)

So without further ado - the modifed Fabric Box Tutorial!!

Firstly, make your pattern. I managed to figure out (and it took a lotta brain cells) that (a) is the height of your box, and (c) x 2 is the width and depth. So in my case, (c) was 10cm, which doubles makes 20cm. I made mine 21cm high (a) and really, (b) is irrelevant. I just thought it looked more professional that way. (d) should be exactly the same as (c). (Wow, I suck at these!)

Next, take your awesome Ikea fabric (Fredrika!) and lay that sucker on there. Remember to double it over first! The edge I didn't name (and clearly should have) should be situated on a fold. My mum is like my dealer - she gets me access to stuff I can't get way out here. Thanks for being my fabric pimp, mum!

Cut that sucker out. Leave about 1cm seam allowance on all sides (not so important on the bottom seam, but still leave a little extra). At this point, if your kitty is weaving around your ankles and demanding that she be given a tidbit, it's probably best to oblige her so she leaves you alone.

Isn't it cute??? Looks like a little kimono.... no, calm down Helly, get this one finished first. That's next in the list.

Do the same with your felt, only don't bother leaving a cm of allowance. It'll help that sucker fit right in. I didn't have any nice, handmade felt, so I went and bought a length of the fake stuff. It'll serve this purpose! (Plus it's three days till pay day, so I went the cheaper option!) Again, make sure that bottom seam is on a fold.

Turn your fabric inside out and sew (a) to (a), like you were closing up the sleeves of a cute little kimono. I used a straight stitch.

Next, begin to curse and beat your machine as the thread tangles continuously and inexplicably. After restraining yourself from tossing it out the door (You'd really like to finish this project and get to that kimono, wouldn't you?) examine things closer and realise it wasn't the machines fault, it was the thread. Apologise profusely and re-thread, all the while promising you won't say such awful things to your beloved machine again.

Um, now.... bring (c) and (d) together. I don't really know how to explain it better, but, to quote a favourite Terry Pratchett line, "It'll be.... obvious, right?". So, sew along and close up the ends. And yes, that's my baby house in the picture. Say hi, baby! It's your first blog appearance!

Before you do that, you should decide which way you want your seam to lay and iron it flat, right? But hey... I forgot. Still, it worked out ok.

Voila! One Floppy Box!

Now, repeat the above steps with your felt insert, Ok, now bung your felt insert in, no need to turn it inside out obviously. Make sure it's gonna fit neatly. Also at the point, check to see whether it's upper edge is shorter than the fabric edge. If it's longer, take it out and trim so it sits about 1cm below the raw fabric edge. This'll become obvious why, because now you have to fold the fabric edge under the felt and pin it, getting ready to sew it down.

Which, when you've done it, should look like this! Yay! I sewed it about 1/2 cm from the edge.

Then, in a mad panicked moment, rush into the other room to check that you actually did get the dimensions right, and breathe a sigh of relief when you see that you did.

Now, go and make more! There now, don't you feel clever? I know I do!

who am i?

I am, apparently, someone who heads for the cereal at night when I don't have to cook dinner.

I am also someone who is learning to ignore that voice we all have, the one that screams at you, tells you you're not good enough, so don't even try.

Someone who is learning that so many of my limitations are temporary.

Someone who would die without some outlet for creativity.

Someone who is very lucky to have the husband that I do.

Someone who is loved by God, anyway.

Someone who is becoming the free, happy, and yet organised person that I have always wanted to be - one day at a time, even when it feels like two steps forward, and thirteen back.

Someone who has a hopeful future and the potential for joy in every situation.

______________________________________________________________

And now that I've gotten than off my chest, I would like to show off something I tried to do last week. After hanging out on http://howaboutorange.blogspot.com/ for obscene amounts of time, I found a great little project involving cloth, walls and starch. Only problem is - it's practically impossible for me to come across starch at all! I tried every supermarket, little shop, cleaning agency, and the closest I got was a bottle of cannned spray starch. Crossing my fingers, I thought I'd try it anyway, and to my surprise it mostly worked. There are still one or two bubbles that appeared after the starch dried, but I'm holding off fixing them until I can get some of the real stuff.

Once I've ironed out the kinks (ha! a pun.) I'm gonna do a design on the baby's wall - I can see birdies, all cut out of different shades and patterns, probably involving some blue (not by choice, but the house was painted yellow with blue carpets when we moved in, so I'm just trying to work with it!) ((Oh, and not because we're having a boy, either. All that gender-colour-specific stuff bugs me anyway)) and flying along the walls. Lets hope I can find some of the starch soon! Nothing more frustrating than wanting to create and being thwarted by a lack of resources and materials.

Oh, this is our bedroom wall, by the way. Again, not my choice of colour schemes, but here we are. If I had my way that wall would be a light pistachio green, and the blue carpet (which shows up long blonde hair so well!) would be a woven, knotty wool sisal. At least, that's how it looks when I close my eyes.

rain

It's finally rained, after nearly three months without any. And it was satisfying rain as well, heavy, constant, soothing. I can almost see the lawn growing in front of my eyes now. The photo on the top bar (and to the left) was taken outside this morning, before the morning sun could evaporate the last of the raindrops. It's amazing how quickly water disappears in the desert. The red sand drinks it in greedily, like a great thirsty beast.

The last time it rained like this, we had a visitor in our backyard for about a month - a rare burrowing frog, that only comes out once every few years after monsoonal rains sweep down from the north. It was wonderful to hear him calling every night. It's a sound I've missed - along with the ever present crickets and cicadas - since moving away from the sub-tropics.

Although I've sewed today, I still don't really feel like I've accomplished anything. Time for another trip back to http://simplemom.com/ to remind myself of how to be productive - I just have to remember not to get so caught up reading all the wonderful posts that I forget why I went there!